


Tomorrow's light would mourn his freedom

by ImGroovyAndIKnowIt



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky is drafted, Did I mention angst, M/M, So much angst, World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 03:51:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10235258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImGroovyAndIKnowIt/pseuds/ImGroovyAndIKnowIt
Summary: Bucky receives his draft notice.Based on a tumblr post that pointed out that enlistees had a number starting with 12 and Bucky's started with 32 so he was actually drafted. It got me thinking and here's what my thinking looks like.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song Over the Hills and Far Away by Nightwish

It was a simple letter. Really, it was. Except what was written on it was not. It brought goodbyes and heartbreak. Anxiety and sadness. Fear and hopelessness. It brought unspoken of feelings back to the surface. It brought the thought of death to a 26 year old.  
It was a simple envelope. But what was written on it was not.

**SELECTIVE SERVICE HEADQUARTERS**

Bucky knew what it meant. He didn't even have the heart to open it. So he didn't. And for a few hours, he tried to forget about the envelope. As if not thinking about it meant it would go away and disappear.  
In the envelope, was a folded letter, as Bucky found out when he told himself to stop being a fucking chicken and open it already.

 _Order to report for induction_  
_The president of the United States to James Buchanan Barnes._

 _Greeting:_  
_Having submitted yourself to a Local Board composed of your neighbors for the purpose of determining your availability for training and service in the armed forces of the United States, you are hereby notified that you have now been selected for training and service in the Army._  
_You will, therefore, report to the Local Board named above at 6:30 A.M. on the 16th day of October 1943._

Bucky didn't read more. He didn't need to. The rest of the text was only about what he needed and what he was going to do there, with a whole section about it being a federal crime not to report on the exact time and day mentioned. The letter- no, it wasn't a letter… the notice was brief but bore no arguments. Because it was only a notice from the government, leaving no choice to the recipients of said papers. By that, they showed men that they were only numbers to the government who could use them as they pleased.

Between anger and hopelessness, Bucky was lost. It wasn't that he was a coward or that he didn't love his country enough to fight for it, but he had to stay. He needed to stay.

Steve's head appeared in Bucky's mind then; his stupid, pretty little face. Steve's health had been bad lately and had only somewhat stabilised two days ago. But of course, there was no such thing as a stable state when it came to Steve's health. The man had several kind of heart troubles, scoliosis, stomach pain and asthma on top. It was a miracle he was alive. So no, Bucky couldn't leave him. All they had was each other.

Bucky didn't tell Steve and tried to act like everything was normal. It was hard, but he didn't have to wait long. He tried to get an exemption, requesting a III-A and basically saying Steve was dependent on him. He hated saying that, as it made Steve feel like a burden when he really wasn't. But if it got him out of leaving for good, then he'd do it.  
But the request was rejected, and once again, Bucky had to face the fact that whether he liked it or not, he was being drafted, and shipping to his death.  
He stopped acting normal the day before he had to leave. Steve had tried to get himself enlisted again. Every time he had enough energy to do it, he went. It made Bucky feel even worse about himself, not wanting to go and fight when his friend was so badly wanting to.

So Bucky sat down on the edge of his bed in the only cramped apartment they could afford, and told Steve when he came back from yet another failed attempt. He'd decided he'd put on a brave face for both their sakes, and no tears would be shed. There’d been a lot of them already, not that Bucky would ever admit it.

“What’d they say now?” He asked as he came to stand in the small living space.

Steve didn't even try to pretend he was surprised Bucky had guessed where he'd gone. “What do you think?” Steve replied unhappily.

“I enlisted.” Bucky blurted out. He wanted to make small talk first but it was better to get it out of the way.

“You enlisted?” Steve repeated, showing a lot of surprise this time.

A little lie was better than telling the truth. Telling Steve he didn't want to go, it wasn't acceptable.

“I'm gonna fight those Nazis. They won't resist long.” Bucky said with his signature smirk even though his heart was sinking.

Steve's face fell, and Bucky had to look away. However he said it, Steve would be hurt. There was no way to avoid it, so he looked away.

“I'll quickly join you.” Steve replied in his usual, determined voice.

“Don't. You're safe here.” Bucky argued. It was like talking to a wall, as Steve was more stubborn than Bucky himself. But Bucky did it anyway, because soon he wouldn't even have that wall to talk to anymore. He would never have that wall anymore.

“You know I don't want that. I want to fight with you. Why should I be different from anyone else?” Steve asked.

“You don't have to prove that you're good enough for it. To anyone. There are other things you can do here to help.” Bucky tried.

“Oh shut up. Why don't you grab scraps of metal?” Steve huffed with a frown.

Bucky looked down for a second and gulped. It was becoming harder not to say it. His eyes were beginning to shine again. Was it already the end of his brave face? It couldn't be. He jumped on his feet and left to take a walk, leaving a confused Steve behind.

When he came back, it was night. Bucky went directly to Steve's bed and laid down behind him, an arm around his chest. It was the first time ever he'd done that and he was afraid of Steve's rejection on top of everything else. Not only was he doing something illegal, but he could also ruin his relationship with Steve hours before leaving to never return. But Steve only took Bucky's hand in his and went back to sleep, somehow knowing he needed the support.

Steve's irregular heartbeat and regular coughing throughout the night did nothing to appease Bucky's mind however. When Bucky left in the morning, he tried to appear confident and took a picture of Steve with him- stole it, really.

When Steve found the draft notice a week after Bucky was gone, he broke down sobbing.


End file.
